i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize