about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
