Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
