I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
