who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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