someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
we're so committed to being not committed
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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