Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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