I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
