I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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