We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
