haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
