I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
not ubering you a puppy
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
