haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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