Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
