WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize