i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
