i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
