I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
There r osticjed everywhere
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
