that's an acceptable place to lick
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
