you win again, gameday.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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