i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
