You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
