the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
