i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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