you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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