whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I have post one night stand depression
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize