Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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