Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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