idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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