I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
