I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
