if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I fill condoms, not promises.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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