i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
