I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
