did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
