Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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