i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
