its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Holy shit dude........stairs
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