I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
