Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
