The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
