I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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