I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
