Heybabeimwearingurpanties
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
