you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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