Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
