i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Randomize
