So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
