I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
