After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize