Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
