Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
