He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
