So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
