come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
