He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Shame is for Republicans.
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