I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
