i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Still dying that you shit outside
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
