listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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