sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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